Crabs In a bucket, “If I can’t have it, neither can you”.
The crab in a bucket theory, refers to the behavior of crabs, when placed inside a bucket. While a single crab can escape if several are in the bucket, none will escape. As one crab claws it’s way to the top, the others pull it back down. The other crabs will kill the one trying to get out, if it continues to pull itself to the edge of the bucket, while not staying down with the other crabs. This is a true phenomenon. The crab mentality is a metaphor for the human response to self improvement in others. So often when people see others advancing, they subconsciously or consciously reach out to hold them back.
Also with negative talk, gossiping and biting at each other, and not achieving anything in life. While never trying to get out of the bucket. Members of the group, will attempt to negate and diminish any member, who achieves success beyond the excepted normality of the group. Hence they will use envy, spite, conspiracy or competitiveness and other methods.
Do you have the crab mentality ?
Do you have the crab mentality or are you surrounded by others with this mentality? There are so many reasons we don’t want to lose people in our lives. Since we don’t want to be lonely, be excluded, feel disappointed, or upset people. Therefore we are in fact being people pleasers. We have to be willing to lose people in our lives who are not supporting us, or who have the crab mentality. They want to drag us back down, kicking us in the “guts” passively or aggressively. While talking to us in a way that makes us feel unworthy, we end up selling ourselves short. While missing out on the dreams we may have been capable of achieving.
1. Request support.
When I go after my dreams, I would love you to be supportive of my efforts, it’s not going to be easy for me to attempt these new things. Because it’s important to me that I have your backing in this endeavor. With your help, I would like us both, to benefit from any positive feelings we can share together.
2 Set boundaries.
Don’t allow yourself to get caught in a trap. We may not be ready to let go of this person, but if their unwilling to support us, or help us to realize our dreams. We have to advise them it’s not going to be as comfortable spending time with them.
3 Cut back your time with these people.
Reduce your time with these people, spend more time with people who believe in an “abundance” mindset not a “crab” mentality. Most of all spend more time with people who want everyone around them to win in their endeavors. “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” Jim Roan
The crab mentality has to go. If people are saying negative things, or have a bad attitude, running off at the mouth about what’s not possible. Or are, opposed to taking action and showing others what is possible, then you don’t want to spend time with these individuals. You can continue to love them from a distance, but not allow your energy to be pulled down, with this negative crab mentality. It’s time to be true to yourself and eliminate the crabs from your life, our calling belongs to us and us alone. If we continue to hide behind beliefs we were raised with, people pleasing to make others feel comfortable, we’re never going to grow into the person we’re meant to be. More importantly, we’re never going to do the work we’re here to do.