Watching your emotions and making decisions.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand your emotions, in yourself and others. It’s also your ability to use this to manage your behavior and relationships. We have to learn to observe our emotions as they are part of our decision making process. Trying to make rational decisions without being emotional is the best way, but rationality is determined by emotions, if your being rational, your emotions still play a part in the thought process. In fact it’s impossible to make decisions without emotions attached to them. Therefore it means being intelligent with those emotions.
Being emotional, has negative connotations in the decision making process. Emotions are seen as weak and childlike, making them counter intuitive in the decision making process. If we were able to compare two people who earn the same money and the same family background and are in fact identical in everyway, their emotional intelligence would decide their ultimate success. Emotional intelligence is being able to moderate yourself, control your impulses, regulate your mood and keep stress in place. These qualities often don’t arrive as part of a high IQ. They are in fact part of a higher emotional intelligence.
Knowing your emotions
Pinpoint your emotions and how they are effecting you. Try to see beyond your perceptions and identify the truth in your own situation. How you feel, not how other people expect you to feel. Also not how your manipulated into feeling, you have to monitor your feelings as they come. Ultimately, each of us are responsible for our emotions. There may be people who we can legitimately blame. But it’s still up to us to learn to manage and not suppress our emotions. As emotions generate everything we do in life, it’s important to identify them and talk about how we feel. Don’t get stuck in behavior loops and be unconscious to the part emotions play in your life. Extraverts or confidence people are no better at emotional intelligence than introverts, who can have high EQ as well, it’s not synonymous with either polarity.
Emotional intelligence is highly developable.
It’s one thing to know your emotions and label them, but it’s another to manage and discipline yourself to control them. To have the ability to read emotions in other people and to understand how they feel is empathy. It’s also the ability to manage your intimate relationships and how well you communicate with other people. Obviously we can be strong in some emotions and weak in others, the object, is to take 100% responsibility for all of our emotions.
Although the middle ground, would be a fantastic achievement for the majority of us. IQ is easier to learn than EQ, people with high IQ’s tend to live in their heads more. They find emotions harder to deal with, it’s hard to know where each of us fits into this framework. Possibly nowhere, because our emotions are constantly coming and going. The intelligence quotient test, measures short term memory, analytical thinking, mathematical ability and spatial recognition, but not your capacity to learn. The Emotional quotient test, measures an individuals ability to identify, evaluate, control and express emotions. IQ tests can’t measure your capacity to learn. Which means we all have the capacity to learn and to control our emotions.