Grateful for being.

Grateful for being.

God, if you just let me get through this crisis in my life I will be so grateful, I will try my hardest to be a good person and never complain about trivial things ever again. “Why me” though, what did I do wrong? God must think, now that’s a question only you can answer. Ok then “Why not me” I’ve noticed bad things don’t just happen to bad people. Good or bad is a value judgement, but when I look at friends and family, it’s obvious some people have more than their share of tragedy. They don’t go looking for it either, it just arrives again and possibly again. There’s no rules involved, it’s completely random, getting through one tragedy doesn’t absolve you from another.

Are tragedies and bad luck character building, maybe that’s the answer. We don’t know what we have, until we don’t have it anymore, then we are grateful for a short while. “Be thankful for what you have. Your life, no matter how bad you think it is, is someone else’s fairytale” Wale Ayeni. Being grateful is almost a cliché now, it’s common sense and most of us give being grateful some thought, but often not for very long. Grateful for getting out of a difficult situation or averting a bad moment in our lives. But not grateful for just being and hanging on to that feeling for an extended period of time.

Grateful for health.

Well we’re all grateful for that aren’t we? When it comes to our health and wellbeing, we’re told to count our blessings. Self help books swear by the process and increasingly so does science. Ask anyone about life’s pleasures. It’s often the quality of social relationships and the purposefulness of activities which derive the most satisfaction. Put simply, gratitude is a state of being thankful or a readiness to show appreciation for and returning kindness. This can be from helping people and when you focus on the positive aspects of your own life. I have commented on this before, as I continue to focus on all the wonderful aspects and people I am surrounded by, my outlook on life has improved.

Hiking in nature has been my passion for a while now, and something I have been grateful for. Living in an area that permits me to escape into solitude on a regular basis. The last few weeks have changed those feelings as it became painful to walk. I struggled on of cause, never one to admit defeat easily or own up to a problem. Men go to the doctor less often than women anyway. As long as we’re working and feeling productive that seems to be enough. Two hernias in my groin was the diagnosis “but” why does there have to be a “but” when you don’t want one? There is also a suspicious area that was highlighted by the scan on the pancreas as well.

Grateful for social media?

Steve Jobs, Patrick Swayze and Michael Landon all come up on social media sites. Thanks google for calming me down and bringing everything into perspective. I had a diagnosis a few years ago of plural plaque on my lungs from exposure to asbestos fibers. This wasn’t the very serious mesothelioma, but it can turn into it at any time. This involves yearly check ups to monitor the situation. Every year it’s the same, I ask and answer the same questions. If it’s all right again this time I will be really grateful and never complain about trivial things again. It has made me more grateful, but with each passing each year I gain more confidence. This confidence seems to take away some of the gratitude I had in the early stages.

Pancreatic cancer the silent killer, by the time you discover or have the symptoms it’s to late. Web Doctor could be wrong this time. I had plenty of restless nights wondering how things would turn out. I convinced myself that if somehow I managed to last a bit longer, I would do one more hike somewhere peaceful and be really grateful to be able to do that. “But” I would be even more grateful if I only needed my hernias fixed up. Well I went to the doctor yesterday for the final results of a follow up scan. I’m a freak of nature apparently. Born with an unusual configuration of the pancreas, the unusual configuration mirrored a tumor but was in fact, normal. Of course I’m grateful really grateful this time and I have a really strong feeling that I will never forget, how grateful.

Grateful for being
Grateful I’ve seen the light





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