Old age my personal unwish list.
1. No matter how much I shake my penis after I pee it’s never enough.
2. Not too many compliments. A guy needs a compliment from time to time.
3. My wife expects me to kill all the bugs, I’m scared of spiders too.
4. I’m polite with everyone, but I really don’t give a fuck anymore and that’s not written on my tee-shirt either.
5 My mind signs contracts my body can’t keep.
6 Testicles require readjusting at times, this can be anywhere any time.
7 Getting up twice a night for a pee and tripping over the cat because I forgot to put my glasses on.
8 Asking someone to repeat what they said for the third time, then taking a guess and looking like an idiot because I got it wrong.
9 Going to the shed three times because I keep forgetting what I went for.
10 Hiding down the supermarket aisle, because I keep forgetting that persons name, who remembers mine.
11 My kids are looking middle aged.
12 Meeting friends I once played strip poker with, now we’re comparing the medications we take.
13 Are my ears getting bigger?
14 The next car I buy will probably be the last.
15 I can remember what I was doing when President Kennedy was assassinated.
16 I had better slow down, the traffic light is green.
17 I drove the car down to the fish and chip shop, brought a paper as well, walked home reading the paper and left the fish and chips and the car behind.
18 I found the car keys in the oven.
19 I found the car keys in the fridge.
20 It’s my wife’s fault, she keeps hiding things.
Old age is a privilege.
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? How can we ever regret growing older when it’s a privilege denied to so many. We all hope to live through to old age, but then complain when it arrives. If you have been mean or petty, old age will exaggerate these vices, but if you have been generous and gracious, old age will expand these virtues. You reap what you sow either way. If you live your life with generosity and graciousness then you will enjoy satisfying memories of your decency.
Age also brings gratitude and the knowledge that with every passing year we’re privileged, then being grateful becomes a daily ritual. Enhancing our lives in so many ways, it can feed our spirits with delicious things like learning, creating and serving others. There’s another phenomena that many people around my age experience, I get nods and smiles from others with similar thoughts to mine. We are in fact invisible, honored, respected, even loved, but not worth listening to anymore, we’ve had our turn, now its time for us to move aside.”That’s the third time you’ve said this” who said my memories bad?