Waiting for a green light.
I just have to wait long enough, the timing always sucks, it’s never quite how it should be. The green lights will never all be green. While the universe doesn’t conspire against us, it doesn’t go out of it’s way to line up the green lights either. While waiting to quit our job, waiting to travel, waiting for love, waiting for permission, waiting for Godot maybe, who never arrives. Conditions are never perfect,”someday” is a terminal disease that will take our dreams to the grave with us. You’d think we’re never going to die, the way we cower, second guess and fret over every little action. Imagining everything is of paramount importance because we might upset some delicate balance that doesn’t exist anyway.
We’re not as fragile or as weak as we’ve fooled ourselves into thinking. The control of modern society keeps us safe and secure, but often with negative benefits. Keeping us in the soft, protected center and away from the sharp edges, but a lot of the uplifting things in life are located on those edges. The problem is, we need to experience the edges beyond our imposed comfort zone. Fear doesn’t need to stop us, we can go willingly, step by step. If we need to pull back we can, whatever level of discomfort we reach, we can reach it deliberately. Meet it head on, on our own terms, then we can own it, making our world much bigger in all directions.
Create green lights.
We wait in anticipation for the green light, that gives us permission to go. If the light doesn’t turn green for us, does that mean we can’t move, we’re stuck. When we arrive at a big intersection in life and the traffic lights aren’t working, what then? We can’t just sit there waiting for a green light to happen, as difficult as it is,we have to get across the intersection. There is no turning back either as the traffic on all sides is building up. We have to create our own green light, with cooperation and anticipation,we carefully move through the busy intersection. For a short while we’re forced to embrace the edges, we’re not quite as fragile as we thought.
“An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stop light…..the truly wise person is colorblind”. Albert Schweitzer. To experience more of the uplifting things in life we sometimes have to stop on the green light and go on the red light. Ignoring the well defined streets of the culture we happen to be born and live in. Life isn’t designed to be lived through a filter of fake joy, fake excitement, or a hollow sense of victory. Victory over the everyday, keeps us contented. Although the real joy and excitement of our own expansion, is often closer to the edges.
Red or green lights.
Being colorblind could be part of an illusion that we can opt out of the human condition. Once we get it all figured out, everything will be fantastic. Everyday we can have moments of grace and moments of struggle. Moments of illumination and moments of darkness, moments of love and moments of isolation. We’re all in this together, it’s figuring out a way to piece together our lives and devote more time to the bigger questions. There isn’t a destination we are ever going to arrive at, where it’s awesome all the time. Living more on the edges is only a notion, we don’t have to be in that place all the time. It’s really about choosing, rather than reacting, to what and who matters in our life. While practicing cultivating these things, then we can develop our decisions and actions that ultimately, make us feel most alive.